Monday, March 15, 2010
When is enough truly enough?
As a divorced single woman dating has been nothing less than impressive. Meeting someone, logging in mad hours on the phone, swapping stories, filling your girls in on his stats to only find yourself back at square one in a matter of weeks becomes a pattern of adopted behavior. It's exhausting! When I'm on Facebook or Twitter I read more posts from women that are fed up, lonely, horny or jilted...and sometimes there are women that feel all of those things simultaneously. Speaking for myself I have grown very disillusioned by men as of lately. By no means am I man bashing, just expressing my frustrations.
Dates have somehow evolved into Blockbuster nights. Courting or wooing a woman has been replaced by the random text after 12am. Yes..the almighty booty call. Now there was a time in life when I welcomed the booty call, embraced it in fact. Divorced women like to get their groove back too! But those days are long gone. I'm 35 years old now. A woman of a certain age begins to want something of substance. The problem then becomes meeting the right man. I believe in leaving no stone unturned. Meaning any available man could potentially be the one. But what I've found myself faced with more often than not are what I like to call Deceptacons. Yes, a damn Transformer! This would be the man that you run home and call your girls excited like you just found a rare canary diamond, only to say after 2 dates, "Girl I knew there was a reason that fool was single!" Is it too much to ask that he's not insane, married, a drug addict, in the closet, abusive, a child molester and that his credits good!
Most of the men that I know are very much aware that they are a hot commodity, the ratio of Black men to Black women is 9-1, so they figure why settle? They can have a little of this one and a lot of that one without committing. At this very moment I could start my own dating service with all the beautiful, single, educated, professional friends that I have. Friends that haven't been proposed to. Ever. Which leads me back to the question at hand. When is enough truly enough? When do we start looking at alternatives? What are our alternatives besides settling for whoever comes along, switching teams or dating outside of our race? I've noted that some beautiful talented sisters have married outside their race. Halle Berry, Garcelle Beauvois-Nilon and Keesha Sharp. Personally I'm not opposed to trying something new, you can keep the marriage end of it (been there, has the divorce papers to prove it, lol) but it would be nice to be in love. What's a girl to do when her back's against the wall? I'd just like for one Black man to replenish my faith. Is that asking too much?